When it comes to a relationship where does the word…..Celibacy lie.
Celibacy: the lifestyle of someone who is striving to abstain from all sexual activities for the remaining of their unmarried life.
Hmm…..I wonder where this blog is going to go!
Here's a poem of how I feeling right now at the moment. I thought this was better instead of reading a long drawn essay of what is going on now. I hope you like it.
I love him, I have him, but I want and need HIM
See the lovey dovey hearts of the matter, I have in him
The laughter, the funny chatter, I have in him
Creamy, smooth, dark chocolate, I see in him
And yet I still want HIM
See I love him, but desire HIM
Look at him, my love is young at heart
But oh my HIM, talking about grown man business from the start
I love HIM with his ego, talking baby no need to upgrade me, he says let me upgrade you
Oh how my mental psyche craves for HIM
And yet my Aphrodisiac, my heart longing desire is him
See I got heart security in him, I believe he wouldn't hurt me
But when it comes to survival and security, Amen see HIM understands that welfare security
Its funny how I'm in love with someone but desire another.
I need for him and HIM to combine and become HE.
See when HE, the one comes along to meet and greet with me
See HE plus me, makes the world understand the true meaning of WE
That defined WE can make a difference
WE will do unthinkable, immeasurable, unconstrained wonders of the world in our lifetime
For when WE is here, you see God's amazing grace and favor
And that is what all relationships should savor
Hey.
Yeah I know right.
Im confused and at a lost for understanding
Wait, how do you think I feel?
I never had my mind and heart battle so much as they do now
Mommy, no I'm not making any excuses or trying to be defensive.
Im speaking from a heart that's conflicting with my mind.
You say move on and put those things behind
Its not that easy, I just can't do it that easy
For this entity has become apart of me, more like another half
And I can't let it go without a fight.
No matter how much I'm pulled to run, the other piece wants to stay like cement.
Call me coocoo for that coco puff, but in disguise I think it's a lucky charm.
I can't leave that half on its own, I want to be there
No, I can't save everyone from everything, but this is like saving myself
Yeah, it has become me, maybe a while back it wouldn't be a few limbs
But hey that's what it is now and I don't know if it remain the same.
Huh, you ask me did I talk to God?
Do you not how much I pray, all this praying and believing is going to put my legs in shape for sure
You say I'm in danger, I think I am either way.
Losing someone I love to losing a piece of me to losing pieces of my life I never became apart of
What if it's a waste of time?
You could never say I didn't give up or didn't put up a fight.
I know things are hectic but soon the storm will calm.
Calming with the moonlight of peace or me lost like the wind running for freedom.
Hey guys!
I been thinking about a lot of things lately, my mind is telling me to stay focus and believe. My heart is telling me to hold on to what you believe no matter what, and pray that he does the same. I can admit I am in love with the man I am seeing at the moment, and I can't wait for the next time I see him. Right now due to my school needs, I am in Knoxville and he remains in Memphis. I haven't seen him since Dec. 22, yes I remember the date. Hopefully I can see him on Valentines Day, that is if I actually come home for the time being. It sucks being in a long distance relationship sometimes, I would like to see him more often than I do. I talk to him every day, damn near all day long, from what my friends tell me. One of my fears is that the long distance thing gets the best of us. I mean I actually like the fact of missing my man, because when I see him there are sparks everywhere, and I cherish every moment. Now Skype helps a lot, but we have only skyped like twice, mainly because I been busy to were it ain't gonna happen no time soon. But it will get the best of me, for the days when conversing don't suffice. Skype will make me angry because I can't touch him or kiss him, OMG I'm getting sad writing this.
It's so funny because I never thought I would even think of him in the ways I do now. He used to be my Lil play brother, and now he has become my lover! I laugh about it so much how we have come a long way. Just think meeting him in a park when I was like 14 and couldn't care less about the boy, would come to this where I am 21 and I actually care about his thoughts. And the fact that he's 2 years younger than me, oh it took me a good minute to get over that. For some reason I actually like the idea of being a cougar and what not, I think it's cute lol. Well I think I'm done ranting. But Does anyone know what great things you can do to keep a relationship intact while you can't see the one you love?
