This stuff right here chick, this stuff right here! LOL

Hello my fellow readers, sorry about all the delay. I've been pretty busy. Here's a great entry with a question needed to be answered. My Diva Project is very close to being finished by the way:::::

My whole Christmas Break has been wonderful. I have been out and about without a dull moment yet to come. At first I planned on only staying for a short while because I thought it was going to be boring and I didn't want to be under control by the parents who I so love dearly. I just wanted to come home for the week of Christmas and bounce back to Knoxville. But all the sudden I wanted to be nice, for my little sister and my boyfriend because they were both upset of my very short stay. So with all that being said, I politely increased it to an extra week, I really do care, Lol! Since the moment I touched down in Memphis, I have seen most of my besties, but I wish I can see all of them, but two weeks doesn't give that much time at all. Since I have been home I have seen my family non-stop, YAY! I have seen my besties at least one time and my boyfriend like 3 times, in my opinion that's better than nothing, its only one Shermere to my knowledge. Enough of the short summary of how my Xmas break is going, let's to get down to a real situation.

I have known my boyfriend for so many freaking years before actually getting to this point. I met him through my cousin a long time ago in the summer. Anywhoo, he ended up dating my sister that likes lasted a month or so, very short I must say. But me and him still kept in touch and he became something like a little brother to me (yeah I'm two years younger than him). Well like 2 years ago he had told me he was attracted me, I mean knew the whole time but I ignored it. I told him at that time that I only saw him as a little brother and that I wasn't even into like that, but I thought the gesture was cute. But curiosity made me wonder what if I had a different answer for him. So I had asked my sister, his ex when he was 13/14, how would she feel or react if I dated him or attempted to. She told me that she didn't care, after that comment I was WOW she gave me the go head. Well 2 years later me and him were talking again, and I randomly told him that I liked him all the sudden, don't ask, have no idea what I was thinking. Well anyway he still liked me and we started to leave the friendship stage and start to pursue something. I had discussed the situation with my parents but in no way do they agree with the situation at all.

But that's another long story in itself. But yeah we are dating right now, and there aren't any problems, and I definitely don't want any. FYI I am 21 and I like grown people stuff! I mean my sister is mad about the situation now but she gave me permission. I guess she thought nothing was going to come from it but oh well; she should have never said I do not care to me. To be honest, I see that she cares but it's too late for me to remove from this! What do you think about the situation?

Life after Lessons!

I been through it all

All that I want to go to through

I'm done being passive and quiet
I'm done letting things brush off my shoulder

I'm tired of letting things happen because I didn't do or say something

What more can I say……..

 

This is what I feel like right now, but at the same time I am still blessed. Blessed enough to know that God loves me. I feel special everyday when I wake up. I was watching Creflo Dollar and he was talking about the recession and God's children. And the main point that he said was that God's children lack nothing. Well he probably didn't say quite that way, but that's the way I am saying he said it. Either way, a very point. That word just touched me and made me think about things in my life. I have food everyday, a family that loves me, a closet full of clothes and shoes, friends, life itself, and most of all I have God. I have realized that everything that I need I already have, writing this makes me think even more about it. God loves me and thankfully I haven't left him yet. A few blogs back, I mention I prayed to God to never leave me or let me leave him, and he replied through my bible that same night. Well to be honest, I have done some things lately that just wouldn't make my mother proud (it's not that bad), and the other night I started reading my bible, and it was a warning. As I flipped through the bible, a couple of times it said "Return to me, and I'll return to you." And my spirit knew exactly what he was talking about.

See….I love the relationship I have with God. No one else can compare to the same relationship with him. He talks to me when I need him, or just to be sociable. Yes, sometimes I lay in bed and I began talking to him about things going on, it might seem as if I am talking to myself, but no I am not crazy, I just found a friend that would always be blunt with me. A friend that protects me, comforts me, loves me, and most of all created me. It feels good to have this connection. So good! For so many months, I prayed to have a closer relationship with God, confidence that I can do all things through him, and love for myself. See now I know what it really means to say, "You have not, because ask not." See everything that I ask for I receive according to God's will, I may not have received everything I asked for in the physical, but I know it's already mine. I am not the most virtuous person of them all, I am not free without sin, and to be honest I haven't been to church in a long time. I mean everyone is different when it comes God, he may reach you through a friend or family member, your home church, or the TV Evangelist or just by opening your bible (that simple). Before I do this, I am not pastor, I just know this works from experience, if you haven't known by now, I talk about doing this all the time.

Tonight or when you have time, grab your bible and pray before you open it. This is what I normally say or something similar to this extent:

Father, I thank you for the right now word that I am about to receive that will affect my daily life. I thank you for it right now, in Jesus name, Amen.

 

It's that simple. Try it! It works for me every time.

 

God Bless!

-Diva

Disaster in America!

One of my sorors directed me to a lovely facebook page and I was hurt by what it said. Above this blog is a photocopied picture of the profile. Please note: I blocked everyone's name except the person that wrote the status, since he obviously wanted it to be known how he feels.

Um….this was disrespectful and it really hurt me to think that a black male with a black mother (assuming), can say this. I am black woman proud of who I have become and where I came from, I plan on marrying someone like myself, but if God desires something else other than black, so be it. It just bothers me how one attitude of a person can determine the attitude of everyone else that is that race. It's bad enough that television (i.e. BET) shows ignorance as entertainment to the public eyes. Even though, I understand no matter the race, some women carry a certain persona good or bad. I wouldn't care if he said something about a particular attitude, maybe then I can understand where he was trying to come from.

I am an articulate, educated woman that will be attaining her bachelor's in Accounting, and soon thereafter a master's. I am a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated, that prides themselves in helping and making an impact in the community. I was offended that he basically threw me, my family, and friends under that same category with the woman that he had an encounter with. BTW in case you didn't know, there is a sea of beautiful black women with a similar persona for greatness.

But let me say this, for him and the other men to make this comment and agree in unison shows me how ignorant they are. I would love for each of them to go to their mothers and tell her exactly how they feel about all black women in general, as they did on facebook. But hopefully, I hope they understand that they came from black women and without her, they would not be in existence.

I do not care about the race you marry, it is just the way you go about the situation that bothers me, simplifying yourself to one category, not because of religious beliefs, but what the media has instilled and a person's attitude, when everyone is not the same.

FYI, I do this for a living, I can talk about this all day.

-Diva

I am a Alpha Kappa Alpha woman!!!

I just wanted to let the world know this!

Zeta Delta Chapter: Spring 2009 : Double Jeopardy (line name): False Pretense(my name):28 (line number)

I am too pretty, like always!

Original, by definition, means pertaining to the Source,
Well when you speak of the Original Woman, you are speaking of me, of course.
See - I am the AKA, the First and Finest for All to Behold.
I change Black Women to Black Pearls, I am 100 years old.
By merit and by culture is the motivation behind my strides,
An Alpha Kappa Alpha Woman will always Walk with Pride.

You see, being the Original Woman is not my only claim to fame,
Service to all Mankind is my most esteemed aim.
I am the Original, giving consistently of myself,
Addressing pertinent issues, from AKAdemics to good health.
Who made a commitment to do good,
A commitment to my people and to my Sisterhood.

I am the hope and the dream of the impoverished and unclean,
When I grace the room you know the Pink and Green is on the scene.
I am intelligent, beautiful, finest yet and sophisticated,
A strong black woman, college trained and widely educated.
One time originated, three times imitated, but never, ever duplicated

I represent Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated!!!!

Blogs will begin to post on normal schedule now!

Under Construction!

Sorry about not posting anything for a while now! Good news is this under construction and will be back in effect hopefully soon.
-Diva

Why? I just can’t understand.

I feel disturbed at the moment. I do not know how true this is, or if it is all make believe. I just wanted to briefly touch on this, because I had to instantly pray when I read this, well I pray every time when I see things like this. This was taken from Mediatakeout.com, here goes…..

One of MediaTakeOut.com's readers – a self proclaimed "DL Brotha" sent us the following essay – describing why he does what he does. We're gonna call it the "DL Brutha Manifesto". Here you go ladies, you might need to send this to a few girlfriends…

 

First of all, I would like to say emphatically that to all black women - I LOVE YOU!!!!. I respect you. I adore you. To me, there is nothing more powerful nor more sexy nor more divine than seeing you walk proudly in the sunlight of your blackness, your femininity, your sexuality, your sass, your strength, and your spirituality.

But sometimes, I want to taste a man.....

It's not that I'm gay, homosexual, bisexual or any of those things. I don't claim any of those titles and so if you ask me if I'm gay, homo, or bi - I'll tell you "No". I'm just a brother that knows what he likes. That's all.

Now, if you ask me if I have sex with men, I'll tell you "No". Yes, I know that lying is wrong and God don't like ugly. But, if I laid with you, and made sweet love to you, and then told you that sometimes I like to go inside a man....you wouldn't want me. Our relationship would be over. And, more than likely, you would "warn" your friends about me. And so, I lie. Not because I am trying to deceive you, but because I just don't think you need to know. All it will do is destroy what we have.

You see, honesty is not as simple as you think....

One day I'll stop, I'll settle down with my black queen. I can't promise that I'll completely stop experiencing men. There's just something about it that draws me. But, I do know that I won't do it nearly as much. Well, I don't know that, but I don't think I'll do it as much.

To the woman I will one day marry : I promise to be a good husband, and a good father to our children, and a good grandfather to our children. I'll love you, and protect you, and cherish you, and make you laugh, and dry your tears, try to give you the kind of home you have always wanted, and do my best to make your life as happy as it can be.
But sometimes, I'll still want a man......

 

Ok, let me say this, it made me mad that he still would want to lie through all this and then want to get married and commit adultery to a woman that would love him whole heartedly. It hurts to think that you are doing all you can, and your HUBSAND, is out having sex with other people and bringing all that risk of STDS to your home. Ok, I can't be a hypocrite when it comes to the fact that he has slept with a man, it's the fact that he is not being faithful and committed in his relationships. Honestly, if he made it known of his sexuality and repented and received his grace from the lord and became released from the sin, yes I would date him. That's his past, so be it. But if he constantly dates men and wants to marry you and still kick it with other man, NO, I will immediately tell you bye bye. I will not date a bisexual man, never, but I will date a renewed Christian man.

I used to kick it with women, so I can't reject him for his past, that's a sin in its own. As long as he makes it known about his past relationships with same sex, I am cool. If not, you might see Diva in jail, for going Madea on this man, for betraying my trust and love. We will have some problems. But being on the DL within both sexes is wrong, I mean if you are hiding something, you know this wrong, or you would not be ashamed of it in the first place. Please, I urge you talk to the Lord about this situation. I am praying for you, trust me, I did as I was writing this, because my mind went on a rampage. But honestly, I'll still love you, IF and ONLY IF you truly become released from that sin and have God's mercy and grace upon you. Because if God can forgive you for all your sins, I can to, who am I to reject you. You are changed person.

Does He pay any attention to you?

I am so talking about the males around you, would they love to date you or befriend you? I bet some of you are saying, of course, and the others are saying barely, it just depends. Well last night, I was talking to an old friend of mine and we were discussing her new love interest. You know as a friend, you would ask the normal questions. 1. How did ya'll meet? 2. What's his name? You know stuff like that. Well for some reason she is only able to meet guys online and asked her why. She said because guys don't pay her any attention in person, and for the very few that do, she gets very nervous. But on the internet, it's a breeze for her to meet new people. Now from previous experiences and from what the news tells me, I do not condone meeting random people on the internet, but to each it's own.

But honestly, I believe it's the lack of confidence that is missing and I bet you he can probably be sensing this too. I mean of course some guys still might not even look way with you bursting out with confidence, but don't worry about them. They are not just meant to come your way. And OMG, please do not confuse this with being the attention seeker, these are two different matters. I call that type of girl easy; it's just what I believe. But I do think, Confidence is key, it puts you on his radar, even though he may not speak up, I bet you got his attention that moment. If you don't have confidence, practice always makes perfect. That's what I had to do, I couldn't play the shy girl for long, and I am not the outspoken person though, I make sure my composure stays kosher.

1 Peter 3: 3-4 says, "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of platting hair, and wearing of gold, or putting on apparel; But it let the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in sight of God for a great price.

Thus that being said, what really matters when it comes to that God-fearing man, is the inside. You must love and be confident in yourself. Yes, still have ABC (Always Be Cute) in check at all times, but remember do not do for someone to notice you, do it because you love yourself, and you are being a representative of God (Not a representative of the Whore Committee 101). That's all that matters. And if you don't love yourself quite yet, do what I did, and pray to God and cry out to him, if you are willing, he's willing to help you become that God-fearing woman, that will become so close to him, The man has to get know God first, before he can know you.

Note: While you're praying, talk to yourself in the mirror and give yourself a little pep talk, I learned from my pastor, and It actually works. Speak it into existence.

But for now, I am going silent. I just wanted to let you know what's going in my world.

A Pretty Picture of Diva!

I am just too cute! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. OMG, I took this picture looking the mirror and I couldn't see nothing but beauty. (Gotta give yourself a pep talk in the morning, night, maybe all day) I love me some me! LOL

The Testimonial Purpose

Recently, I been talking to the heavenly father and we have been discussing my progress on the restructuring of me. A few months ago I had felt the notion that I was not worthy of acceptance in heaven (the devil THOUGHT he had me). I felt as if I was never going to amount to the deserving Christian God had intended for his people to be. After all my mistakes and doing the dirt I have done in the past, I felt like nothing. So later on one night, I was praying and talking to God, and he told me to open my bible and read the random page.

    I followed the directions and it was talking about people he left because of them constantly doing wrong and ignoring God, and he left them to suffer and reap their unfruitful harvest. Flipped to another page, the same thing. And it scared me, as if he was telling me he was going to do the same. I was so scared so I decided to pray about this frightening situation, I didn't want him to leave me and I didn't want him to let me leave him ,NEVER. As soon as I was about to, God said you are not done reading, flip to another page. (Mind you, I just close my bible and whatever it lands on, I read it.) So I did, and in big bold letters in my bible, it read "You are Never Alone." I cried because it was so meant for me, then I flipped to another page and it read the same thing, but it elaborated more on the subject. Then he explained to me why he showed me those other stories and what not in the bible to make a point. Those people didn't want him when they were so-called prospering, they didn't want to change when he begged them to, but when they were in trouble that's when they called on his name (it wasn't there to scare me, it was there to give me relief, woo). But I am focused on changing myself to his liking (Boy, is it hard), but the point was that I am trying. He knows I am not perfect, and he knows my struggles and after every test failure, he's ready to test me again until I pass, because he knows I am determined for this change. Seriously, He loves me!!!

    God is real and he loves and cares for his children. Call out to him now, and receive Jesus in your life! Do it now, because I don't want you to attempt when it too late. And just remember to repent and he will wash your sins away as if they didn't even exist. No matter what you are going through, you have his mercy. I bet he is just waiting for you to talk to him, just reach out and I promise he will reach back, and place you under his covering, IF YOUR WILLING. That's all I wanted to say.

-Diva

Woman to Woman

Ok, Please excuse this Ladie's French!!! But the video has some good points. Just to let yall know. I'm digging this one right here.

Waiting for that one

Here's a poem, Please read it and the commentary to follow.

Name of the poem: The bus stop

 

Is it you or is it just me?

Do you care, or maybe I just…..(breathe)

I'm waiting here, been right here all this time

But where are you?

I get on a bus thinking it's you.

I'll ride for a while, till I realize this route wasn't for me.

So I have to get a transfer, and try to get my heart anew.

Sitting on this bench, you may think should be very warm because of the many days I have sat here

But if you knew how cold hearted I may have become, you will soon understand why it's iced.

I'm so tired of being misled by those phony fairytales.

Where are you?

I'm waiting.

So many buses stopped, and the driver would ask "what bus are you waiting for?"

A tear falls and I say, "I don't know. But hopefully it may come soon."

The driver closes the door and moves on.

I look to the east and sway to the west, hoping I'm in the right spot.

Yet, I'm still waiting.

Waiting for you, to take me to our destiny.

I'm praying that you come soon and in due time.

I don't know who you or how will I realize it's the right one.

But, yet still, I'm waiting.

Maybe I…….

I don't know.

Even though, you are in the unknown.

I'm really starting to miss you.

Please! Don't forget to meet me.

As I'll be right here.

Waiting for you.

 

I know someone feels the same way, If you understood the poem. If not, well its about waiting on the one to show up one day and take you away from the misery of being lonely. Now being single doesn't make you lonely, its just being single. The way I see it, it is quite mathematical. Check this out:

With Love and marriage, this is what I am thinking.

Me, without my husband (Because I want to settle down and get to family business, instead of having these temporaries)

1*0=0 It's just me.

Me, with my husband

1*1=1 because one day he and I will become one.

 

I mean I date ever so often, I get sick of it. I want the one, not my temporary, I want my Husband. Hopefully you get what I am trying to say if not, Oh well. But I really am starting to miss him, and don't know who he is.

 

-Diva

Back in Effect, but with Energy this time!!!!!

This is a 3-part talk, I guess!

Part 1

I'm back!!! For all you college students out there, be strong and stay strong. I was going through hell last semester, that's why I barely posted informational things, because my timing was out of whack. Basically all my classes demanded 24/7 of my time and OMG that was killing me bad. But the part that made me depressed was the fact that I failed a class that was my ticket into all my major classes. I was crushed because I left that final exam thinking that I passed with flying colors, I thought wrong. That right there wanted me to change my major quickly! But after long thought and my dad's encouraging speech, the only thing I could remember from the talk that touched me afterwards, was it was worth fighting for. I mean my major, Accounting with a minor in Finance, is hard as hell. I passed Finance course, I mean for some reason that was easy as 3.14 (pie lol). But I am going to stay in that major and fight this battle with the help of God. I have a strict schedule with no free time during the whole week; hopefully I will not have a crash moment like I did last semester and just say f-it again.

 

Part 2

After finally getting fed up with all the additions of Re-runs, I would like to let off some steam. B.E.T. is no longer Black Entertainment Television, with the exception of its Sunday programming. I watching one of the commercials and it was talking about the Montell Williams show coming to the network, basically all the old shows with black people come to this station. There really isn't nothing good coming from this but redundancy, but MTV and VH1 get all of the goodies, with the exception of For the Love or I love whatevas. I might come up with a reality show so I can make money and make these guys think that I really want love, and also help those that want fame too. Television is really starting to stink. Then for years and many to come I am going to wonder when will the news stop going to the ignorant non-talking black person, OMG that is so embarrassing. Speaking of ignorant people, I am sick of tired of so many video directors thinking that shaking my ass or wearing nothing, is going to get you stardom. But I believe that is going to change soon.

Part 3

We are back on normal schedule and by the end of February I will have special surprise. I hope! Plus I my book may be getting published soon! YAY!!!!!